Whoop de Whoop

I haven't updated this journal in a while.

And the last entry was bugging me.
ANGST ANGST ANGST.

I need to get off my ass and draw/write more.


INSPIRATION PLZ?

I'm becoming a paranoid mess.


There's a kid in my drivers ed class that sits behind me that I am convinced constantly stares at me.
Its one of those situations where in my mind i make up elaborate situations about what's going on behind my back.

I've recently caught myself thinking about smoking.
but I'm paranoid [BIG SURPRISE]that i'll be that kid that all it took was one cigarette and now her life is one big fuck up and she was "derailed from a focused blah blah..."

lets keep my parents thinking I'm a good student.
and that the pressure doesn't get to my head.
and that they totally know what i like and don't like.

I'm becoming one of those annoying people that whine about their lives and who need to grown up and get on with their sorry ass life.

GREAT.
╫╫╫╫╫╫╫╫╫╫╫

ever listened to a song and it just makes you feel dirty?
it sounds weird.
but i listen to songs where the beat and sometimes the lyrics just make you feel gritty on the inside.


i started drivers ed last saturday.
what a blast that is.

I wanna do stuff and see people over break.
I don't wanna sit around and just do nothing.
like i do mostly.



my schools spring musical is right around the corner, and I'm excited to work on the costumes, no matter how dissapointing the musical is.



breatheee.
♥

Sometimes I go through moments where I think that life is like a movie;
That maybe in the end, it'll all work out, and that right now they're having the same thoughts and then you meet up and its all good and dandy and the end.

I'm a dreamer.

Sometimes though, I feel like my life has a soundtrack

Ever heard a song, that is just SO perfect, that your heart swells up and you get emotional and just wanna indulge in the song over and over again, and there is nothing else you'll listen to for the next few days, and it gives you a satisfactory feeling in your chest and sometimes it's hard to breathe because its just so fucking beautiful?

I have to learn to move on, let go, and breathe.


♥

I don't know why I am so studious about these midterms.
or stressed over them.
Maybe I'm not stressed over the exams themselves; just life in general.

My life is all over the place; I have no idea what to do with myself.

I'm sick. :c